


keep it pure on the inside

by haipollai



Category: Avengers (Comics), Captain America (Comics)
Genre: Being a hero, Blow Jobs, Bucky Barnes Is Captain America, Commander Rogers, Identity Issues, M/M, Post-Siege and Osborn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-05
Updated: 2013-07-05
Packaged: 2017-12-17 19:44:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/871295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haipollai/pseuds/haipollai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It's a good look on you," Steve murmurs, moving closer so he's pressed against Bucky's back, his arms curling loosely around his hips.</p>
<p>"Still taking some getting used to," Bucky says automatically. Even after wearing it for years, it's still habit to defend it, to make it feel like it's too big for him.</p>
<p>But Steve shakes his head, seeing through that immediately. "You've worn it well, don't cast that aside."</p>
            </blockquote>





	keep it pure on the inside

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Run Baby Run by Garbage

Bucky stands in the locker room, looking at himself in the mirror. He's grown used to the uniform, the star on his chest and the weight of the shield. But sometimes he just needs to stop and push the cowl back and remember it's really him underneath there. He's the hero leading others. Sometimes he thinks of getting rid of the gun, relying instead on the shield and his prosthetic arm but he's not Steve. He can't ever be Steve. Bucky shifts his gaze in the mirror to the door behind him.

"Hey."

Steve grins and pushes off the door jamb, coming forward to stand just behind him. He has a leather jacket through over his new uniform, the dark blue almost looking black. "Hey yourself, Captain." Steve rests his chin on Bucky's shoulder, meeting his eyes in the mirror. Bucky's breath catches in his throat at the sight of them. Their positions are reversed from how they stand in Bucky's memory. He's the one in front, chin held high, the icon leading others and Steve is the one a step behind, working out of the shadows.

Steve in the black that offsets the red, white and blue.

"It's a good look on you," Steve murmurs, moving closer so he's pressed against Bucky's back, his arms curling loosely around his hips.

"Still taking some getting used to," Bucky says automatically. Even after wearing it for years, it's still habit to defend it, to make it feel like it's too big for him.

But Steve shakes his head, seeing through that immediately. "You've worn it well, don't cast that aside."

Bucky takes in a shaky breath and leans back against Steve. There is a meeting to get to upstairs, superheroes all gathering to figure out how they fit into the world again with Osborn and his own team of Avengers gone. But Bucky wants to stay like this, they don't need the rest of them. Steve and Bucky fighting the bad guys just like old times. "You still left big shoes to fill."

Steve laughs softly, his lips brushing Bucky's jaw. "You technically wear bigger shoes then me." He darts back quickly before Bucky can elbow him. His fingers stay on Bucky's arm, just the faintest connection but all Bucky needs to turn and pull him back in. Steve comes willingly, arms once again finding their way around him. "You can do this Buck, always believed in you."

"Always is a long time," Bucky whispers. His fingers dig into the leather jacket. He has nightmares of Steve slipping away, turning into sand while Bucky tries to hold even tighter to him but this is reality and Steve is right here. His lips are warm when Bucky leans in to kiss. If he closes his eyes it's like they're back home, standing in the middle of the living room while trying to figure out where to place the new couch.

"And I've known you a long time." His fingers touch the star on Bucky's chest. With the leather jacket open, Bucky can see the matching one on Steve's chest. "You can wear this. You have worn this without me here."

"Someone had to." Captain America saved his life, Bucky doesn't know where he'd be if he hadn't been chosen as Cap's sidekick, but he would put money on it being in a ditch in France. If he was lucky and made it to war and didn't get himself killed with a stupid stunt on base. He could never let Captain America disappear.

"Happy it was you." He leans in for another kiss, letting this one go deeper and last longer. "You know how you were always telling me how good I looked in the uniform?"

Bucky blinks, trying to follow the sudden change in topic. "And got you to fuck me in it twice."

A faint flush spreads over Steve's cheeks out of habit, or maybe arousal, thinking about those times. Trying to be quiet with the rest of their team so close by. They didn't have an apartment to go home to back then, if they were lucky they were in some village where they could borrow a room for a night. Everything was different, they were different. The kid Bucky was would never be able to wear this uniform.

"I think I understand where you were coming from now." Steve smiles at him and the look in his eyes is so much more then lust. Bucky wonders if Steve has looked at him like that before but Bucky missed it. "Later, I expect a full demonstration, Captain."

Bucky gives him a cocky salute. "Yes sir, Commander, sir." It makes Steve laugh, there's one last kiss and then Steve is reaching around Bucky's neck, pulling the cowl back up. Bucky takes a deep breath as if that little piece of fabric is a ten ton weight places on him. He's been doing this for years. Since he lost Steve before he even had him back, when he needed something like a mission or a goal and the shield was there. 

"You can do this Bucky," Steve says, catching onto his train of thought.

"But with you here again-"

"And I've got your back." He gestures for Bucky to lead the way. The Avengers are waiting for them, they're waiting for an icon. Bucky picks up the shield. "It's a good look on you."

Bucky grins, grateful that the cowl at least obscures how pleased that makes him. "Even with a gun?" They walk out of the locker room, arms touching as they make their way side by side to the main room of the tower.

"You're not me Buck. Never have been and wouldn't want you to be anyway." Outside of the door, with the sounds of everyone else washing over them, Steve stop. He reaches out, his fingers touching Bucky's cheek. "You're a hero on your own terms." Bucky wants to lean in and kiss him, pin him against a wall and get to his knees and show Steve exactly what those words mean to him. He promises himself to show Steve all of that later.

Instead he leans into Steve's hand, brushing his lips against his finger tips before stepping back. Taking a deep breath because he can do this. He can be Captain America for a group of heroes like the Avengers. He can be a public face again, like he had been as a kid. Steve's hand drops to his shoulder and stays there, a solid weight, like the shield on his back. Bucky lets Steve push him forward, towards the room. "You know, you're kind of like my girl now," he teases, hoping it will help him relax. "Having to wait at home while I go off to do important soldier things."

Steve laughs as they enter and the cacophony of voices slows and quiets. People stopping to greet Steve, some greeting Bucky as well. Carol and Jessica, Luke pulls him into a hug which takes Bucky by surprise. As the meeting starts, Steve slips back, hovering in the shadows but there to support Bucky.

He's grateful to be home later, to sink down into their couch, not even caring he still has the uniform on. "Politics are exhausting," he whines. Steve comes up behind the couch and presses a kiss to his forehead, then makes his way slowly around.

"Let me help." He smiles and sinks down between Bucky's knees. He's changed into sweats, the leather jacket left to hang haphazardly over a chair, the commander uniform in the hamper. "You used to do this for me." Bucky's breath catches in his throat, unable to make any sound as Steve expertly finds the hidden zipper. He presses his tongue over the head. "Remember? After those meetings with the generals?" His hand around the base gives a slight squeeze and Bucky barely manages to get himself to nod yes, yes he remembers. "I'd be complaining about what was the point of it if they didn't let me be a soldier and you-" He leans forward so his breath ghosts over the tip of Bucky's cock. A small needy whine escapes Bucky's lips. "You would push me onto whatever was convenient, and make sure it was all about me."

" _Steve_ -"

He's cut off by Steve swallowing him in one practiced movement. The uniform seems to press into him, constrain him and make breathing a little bit harder, make driving his hips up into Steve's mouth a little bit tougher. It's a weight holding him down, but Steve's determined to take that weight away. Just like Bucky used to do for him. Would always do for him.

Steve's cheeks hollow out, and for a moment, all Bucky can do is grab a handful of Steve's hair and hold on. He manages to get one hand into Bucky's uniform, pressing against his balls and it's too much. He chokes out Steve's name, not sure if he's begging for more or begging for him to slow down, to make this last until Bucky is truly begging. Steve slides up so just the tip is between his lips and Bucky takes a moment to breathe. But a moment is all he gets before Steve is moving again, hitting every sensitive spot and there's no letting up. Bucky comes hard, moaning wordlessly.

He feels empty afterwards, but in a good way. As if he's been cleansed, wiped clean. The uniform sticks to his skin but moving to get it off seems like too much effort. Steve moves instead, getting to his feet and carefully peeling Bucky out, pulling him to his feet so he can get the pants down.

"Steve," he murmurs, curling his hands in Steve's hair. It feels like an eternity since he's managed any words besides Steve's name. "You're perfect, you know that?" Steve laughs and kisses him, catching Bucky by surprise. He can taste himself on Steve's tongue. "Couldn't do any of this without you."

Steve leads him away from the couch, towards bed. "Yes you can, you just need an occasional kick in the ass."

"And no one has done it better then you." He nudges Steve onto the bed and crawls over him. Steve's shirt gets tossed aside and Bucky presses slow kisses over his chest. "Your turn," he mouths against Steve's skin when he tries to pull Bucky back up. He's just reached Steve's stomach, when Steve's phone goes off, Bucky recognizes the ring tone he's set for Maria Hill. "Can you ignore it?" He nips at Steve's stomach, hoping he can lure him away from his phone but there's a touch to his cheek.

"Have to save the world, Captain America."

Bucky sighs and flops onto his back. He's hard again and he can see Steve is hard too. But Steve already has his phone to his ear, talking with Maria in short, neat sentences. He straddles Bucky's hips and presses a kiss to his lips. By then Bucky's own Avengers ID was pinging at him. He convinces Steve to indulge in a quick shower before they get dressed. It is disappointingly short, but it gives him a few more minutes to hold onto Steve and let him be the stronger one. He has a spare uniform in the closet and quickly throws it on.

"You ready Buck?" Steve asks, changed into simple black. Bucky is jealous but this is them now. 

"Guess so."

Steve catches his arm before they head out the door to the waiting car and pulls Bucky against him for a quick kiss. "It's incentive to come home in one piece." It truly sinks in, Steve's not going into the fight. He'll be watching from the Helicarrier when Bucky goes out with the Avengers. "Come home," Steve repeats one more time when they land on the Helicarrier, ducking his head close to be heard over the noise around them. Bucky doesn't have an answer for him, he doesn't want to make a promise he isn't sure he can keep.

But he's Captain America now, and he's learned from Steve that sometimes those promises have to be made. "I will. Have dinner ready for us when I get home." He grins, adjusts the shield and holds his head high, taking the lead.


End file.
